Two People, One Shadow

 I walked down the same street where I had last met you. The exact place where I saw you last. And I stopped.

There was a tug at my heart, some degree of sadness but not the multitudes of grief I used to feel.

I let go the moment I realized that you valued more the people that were gone than the ones right next to you...

I loved you, dearly. But life made a mockery out of me, perhaps because I loved you in vain.

I used to write for you, to make you happy. I used to send pictures to you, of all the memories dear to me.

But you just loved someone else. You were clueless, you were lost.

There were nights I used to cry myself to sleep, thinking that letting go of you would be selfish on my part. Though you didn't need me for solace, yet I used to feel the guilt. Grappling with my heart, choking me.
I knew your story, you knew mine, yet I was deciding to let you go.

There were streets and quotes and poems and the clothes I wore when I met you, everything made me miss you more. I was a fool. I couldn't stop putting in so much love when I knew I'll not get any in return, at least the way I wanted it to be. Consequences, people, lessons had made me cold hearted. I had promised myself not to face any bullshit, yet here I was watching you love someone else, your ghosts and aloof of the love I had for you.

I wanted to scream at you, yet I said nothing. I wanted to scream at myself, yet I did nothing. Why?

There was no answers but only silence, emptiness. I didn't know, I didn't want to know.

Slowly but deliberately, I let go. It wouldn't harm you because you loved someone else but it would also not harm me, because I'll not cry myself to sleep. Because I'll find new people who'll understand my pain, my love.

Maybe I was selfish, to have expected the love I gave, to let go when you were unlovable.

But am I selfish enough to not love you? 
Perhaps not.

I am only accustoming myself to live without you. 

I lost someone who is alive. And maybe living life knowing about their presence makes it harder to breathe. A reminiscent of all the memories we shared, poisons in my heart. 

Deep down, I knew how fucked up life is.

Memories, happy ones make you cry.

Dreams, the ones you need are snatched away from you.

People, beautiful people who'll never stay with you.

Love, the hardest to find and even harder to keep.

But someday, all of this will end. The moment you are on that same street, which could have shattered you, yet you just feel a tug at your heart. And that's it.