Dooriya bhi hai zaruri...

At around 2 am, I received a text from her, asking, “How do you distance yourself from someone?”

Without even thinking about it for a moment, I replied, “It’s all in the brain I would say. If you want to distance from someone, you just stop thinking about it! If you still think about it, then think of the good memories. And that's it.”

“What if there are unresolved issues?” she asked.

“You can’t resolve everything”, I told her, “There is a thing I have learnt and I am trying to follow it too. It’s difficult, but not impossible. Let go! Some people, some things, some opportunities, and some memories!”

“What is they’ve done things to you that hurt you the most because of your past? How to let go of that pain?”, she asked.

“Think, that everything that happens, happens for some reason. Don’t think of it as pain. Think of it as if you got a problem, fine; now let me make sure I don’t let it happen, again”, I said.

She might be in tears, by now, I felt it, when she texted, “But it’s there. One moment you are fine. And then something happens and you recall everything. Everything after that is shattered.”

I told her my very recent experience, where a guy at my work place told me, “Ignore! When you are ignoring something, it's then you come across all the distractions or situations that are trying to test if you have learnt the art of ignoring.”

“But I let it happen to myself again right? How can I promise myself that it won't happen again?”, she inquired.

I had to be the strong one, I realised and I had to take control of the situation now, else she might never believe in good endings, so I replied, “It’s fine baby, don’t be so harsh on yourself. Remember, no matter what, you have to rise above all, and shine.”

“I sometimes feel that even when I'm not wrong, people punish me by being mean to me.  I've done nothing then why?” she asked, nearly pleading to know!

“You might have done it to someone, not in this life, maybe previous one. It’s said in Bhagwad Geeta, you are made to suffer a lot until and unless you are clear of all your sins. The pain would be there, but eventually it will subside."

Wanting to know what she should do now, she asked, “So what should I do? Let go? Delete the contact or block him?”

“Ya, if that is how you want it to stop, or maybe delete and don't block. Make yourself so strong that you don’t give a damn! And if you ask me, you are one strong person I know!”

“What if he comes back? I don’t want to break.”, she retorted.

Oh My God!! The notorious “What if" question, I thought and replied, “If he comes back, we’ll see it then. Why worry about it now? Live in the moment. We would have enough time to think of what to do, ‘if’ he comes back. And you or I cannot predict the reason for him to come back to you. Maybe love, maybe something else!"

“It’s hard to break a friendship.”, she said.

“It’s even harder to live in a broken one.”, I replied.

“But we can end it after sorting things out, right? But he does not even want to respond.”, she replied back.

I thought for a brief moment, and compared it to my very personal experience. I typed, “If you still have a hope, a tiny one even, then wait or pray for it. Or act, if needed. But if you feel it's dead, then it’s for the best, to let go. You can’t mend something, which wants to stay broken.”

She said, “Okay, so live in the moment, isn’t it? I will try to do it. But I know if I move on, there won't be any turning back. And it sucks, that the other person is least bothered about it, at all.”

“If it doesn’t matter to him, why are you getting bothered? Any relation is a two way street, if he doesn’t care, why waste your dignity and time?”, I said.

“It’s only me, suffering.”, she replied.
“Don’t call it suffering. In fact don’t call it anything. Because, once it has a name, it will ask for a definition. We do not want to define this to let go.”

“This is so much of unnecessary hurt and pain. Makes me feel unworthy”, she said.

“You know your worth, right?” I asked.
“Yes, I do”, she said.

“Then live for yourself! If you love to study, study or if you love to travel, then travel. Go out with your girlfriends. Sleep in bed for 20 hrs straight if you want. Just don’t let those memories affect you. If you miss him, give a moment, a very brief one... Smile and continue with what you were doing”, I told her, hoping she understands each and every word.

“I never thought, I will lose someone else. This failure hurts”, she said.
“That’s okay. Don’t let your hurt, hurt someone else”, I said.

“Is is okay to not be okay?”, she asked.
“Yes, it is completely okay, to not be okay”, I told her smiling to myself, and repeating those words in my head.

“I will try doing this. Live in present, do more of what I love”, she finally said.

Smiling, I sent her a picture I had found on Facebook, which said – “Eventually you will meet a person who is tired of the games, too, and their loyalty will match yours.”

“This keeps my faith! It’s just a matter of time. Things will soon fall into places, the jigsaw puzzle would complete soon. And then, you would dance in the rain, kiss under the stars and sleep in a warm embrace. Until then, wait!”

“I love you. ” she said.
I had a big smile on my face while I typed back, “I love you more, always!”